Sometimes, I wish my cat had hands like humans so he could get his own food, but then he would be able to hold a knife, and that wouldn’t be very good…
Oh, Cuddles! Thank God! Never leave me again!
Annie woke up screaming, drenched in sweat. She looked around the room, trying to remember where she was. She was back home in District 4. It had been a month since she won the games and she now lived alone in the Victors Village. She sat up, hugging her legs, and began to cry. The events of the arena replayed in her head every night, it haunted her dreams. She threw off her blanket, grabbed a jacket and shoes, and hurried downstairs. The moon was still up, but she needed some fresh air. While outside, she couldn’t help but look up at the window to Finnick Odairs room. The light was on, and a shirtless Finnick was leaning out the window. He looked towards her, but she ran off before he could say anything. She grew to love him, but she’d heard the rumors about him and the Capitol women. “Does he have one in his room now?” she quietly asked herself. She let the thought slip away and continued her way to the beach.
She sat in the sand, watching the waves roll in. The sand felt smooth and cool between her fingers. It was calming just listening to the water. She brought her knees up to her chin and closed her eyes, focusing on the sound of the water. Wave after wave crashing onto the shore. It brought back memories. Water flooding the arena. The arena… Watching people die. “No… NO!” she wanted the memories to go away. She covered her ears and shut her eyes tightly, trying to drown out everything. But how do you drown out the thoughts in your head? A piercing scream escaped her lips. At that moment, she heard footsteps, someone running towards her. She felt arms wrap around her and pull her close.
“Shhh. It’s alright, Annie. I’m here. I’ve got you.” it was Finnick. He stroked her hair as Annie began to calm down. The screams turned into sobbing. He soothed her until her breathing was back to normal. Finnick pulled Annie onto his lap and held her close to him. She listened to his heart beating. “You’re safe now. Nothing can hurt you.” He reassured her. He kissed her head. Finnick Odair… He had been there for her, shown protectiveness, it’s why she grew to love him. She looked up at him, and he smiled sweetly at her. Everything seemed better now, with just a simple smile. They looked towards the horizon as the sun began to rise. Annie felt her eye lids grow heavy. She tried to stay awake but gave into sleep and drifted off. Finnick got up with Annie in his arms and carried her back to his house. Some people were already up and walking around District 4. Some heading off to work, others heading to school early. He held onto Annie tightly. She looked peaceful and calm. Once back home, he carefully opened the door and took her upstairs to his bedroom. He wanted to make sure she was alright. It wasn’t great living alone, and here he can watch her, for now. He gently set her down on his bed and covered her with a blanket. He kissed her forehead and went downstairs to let her sleep in peace.
A few hours later, Annie awoke. Puzzled on where she was, she got out of bed and went downstairs. The scent of eggs hit her when she made it down. She found Finnick in the kitchen making breakfast. He turned “Hey, how are you feeling?” he asked worried.
“Better.” Annie replied. She tilted her head to the side “How did I end up here?”
Finnick served the eggs on two plates, handing one to Annie, and sat down to eat. “I brought you here. I hope you don’t mind. I wanted to make sure you were alright when you woke up.” he responded before eating a forkful of eggs.
Annie sat down and poked at the eggs with her fork. It smelled great, but she didn’t feel like eating. Finnick frowned. “Do you not like them? I can make you something else.”
Annie looked up at Finnick “No, they look great. I’m sorry.” she said as she began to eat. She ate them slowly, but Finnick waited patiently until she was done. He took their plates and placed them in the sink. Finnick looked at the time and sighed. “I have to go. I have an appointment at the Capitol.” he said disappointed.
“Oh.” Annie said, trying not to look up at him. She knew why. He had a lot of ‘appointments’ at the Capitol. Everyone wanted Finnick for his looks, but none of them knew his true heart. She got up and bowed slightly “Thank you, for bringing me here and for making me breakfast. It was nice of you.” she said quickly and walked out. She ran back to the beach, to be far away from anything that reminded her of Finnick. She headed for the cliff by the water. People began to stare less at her, knowing some of the new behavior was ‘normal’ for her now. She didn’t mind the staring, what did it matter? They don’t know what it’s like to relive that event every night. To watch the people die over and over again. To have to see the family of your fellow tribute around town and know they lost their son. She sat in the middle of the cliff, losing herself in deep thought. She sat there motionless for hours. The sun began to set and she snapped back to reality. Tears were streaming down her face “I can’t do this, not anymore.” she said through the tears. She stood up and walked to the edge of the cliff. The wind blew her hair around. The waves crashed onto the rocks down below. She looked up at the sky and whispered to it “Take me away…” She spread out her arms and leaned forward, letting herself begin to fall. Before she could, arms locked around her waist. She screamed and thrashed around “Let me go!” she pleaded. The arms around her held her tighter and she felt the person bury their face into her hair.
“I’m not letting you go. Never.” Finnick said in an unstable voice. Annie calmed down and turned to him. A tear escaped Finnick’s eyes but it confused her.
“Finnick.” Annie said in a guilty voice.
“Why? Why would you try to- to jump?!” he replied angrily.
Annie flinched. She had never seen him like this.
“I… I couldn’t take it.” she answered.
Finnick calmed down, and told Annie something he had never said before “I love you, Annie. I love you. I don’t want to lose you.”
She didn’t believe him, she couldn’t. She loved him, but hearing him say it made her angry and she lost it “I don’t believe you. The Capitol is full of women who want you! I’ve heard the rumors.”
He frowned and in a hurt voice responded “They’re true, but you have to believe me when I say I have no choice. The Capitol, they have the power to do anything.”
“They can provide you with more than I can, Fin. Any woman is better than-”
Finnick didn’t want to listen to any more, so he pressed his lips hard against Annie’s. She froze. Finnick pulled away and looked at her. Annie wrapped her arms around Finnick’s neck and kissed his lips. He puts his arms around her waist and pulled her in closer, kisses her in return. He has never felt this way for a girl, ever. Yet it seemed to be the mad redhead he fell for
It’s fitting that I am role-playing on twitter as the mad girl from District 4. I feel like my mind isn’t all there. But I have distractions, from the madness that creeps into my mind. I have things that make those thoughts slips away, for days at a time. Words, they don’t leave you. The pain, it’s always there. It’s hidden at the back of my mind until something triggers it. A simple memory or just being alone long enough to think. It usually isn’t safe for me to think, my mind likes to wonder. It can think up horrible situations that I know I deserve, or the happy scenarios I wish to experience. But the happy ones hurt because I know it’s not what I deserve, it’s not what will come true. I’m the one who would go around telling people not to harm themselves, telling them I think they are beautiful, but later on hurt myself. The scars on my leg are just a reminder of my weakness, a weakness I can not forget. Sometimes, I only wanted to see the red of blood; to see that thick crimson drip out. I was told it was wrong. I was made to promise to never do it again. For six months, that promise has been kept. But I have hardly spoken to that person in those six months. Then, there are my suicidal attempts…. All four failed. I hated that I woke up, it’s not what I wanted. But how would my younger cousins see me if they found out I killed myself? The ones that are 8 and younger, how would they view their cousin who they played most with? They wouldn’t understand. How about one of my favorite movies, does it prove I’m mad? Alice in Wonderland, Tim Burton’s version, I fell in love with that movie. The movie came out beautifully, but that’s not the only thing that makes me love it. It’s the madness- the insanity of the movie, it’s what I’m drawn to. Am I crazy, or just pathetic? I’d say both.